16th January 2025 - Anger Arises From Perceived Threat

Amber Cherelle (00:00): Hello, beautiful souls and welcome to today's takeaway coming to you on my walk home from school. As I contemplate a few things that just took place, I want to start this off with saying, our rage, alchemy circle is happening on the 6th of February. Now this circle is being brought to you, not just by myself, but by two of my business besties, incredible founding members of the academy, which are lace flowers and Kati Naya. And we've teamed up together to bring you this brand new experience, which involves circle holding and emotional release work. It involves emotional acknowledgement, it involves forgiveness, and it involves powerful voice and medicine alchemy, which Kathy and I will be leading. And I want to bring to the topic, bring to the table the topic of rage and anger. And so anger itself happens when we experience a threat, when we are feeling threatened by something. (01:09): And a lot of the time, most of the time, that threat is a threat to our resources. So it might be that we fear losing time, losing money, losing food, losing housing, losing shelter, but also it can be losing things like love or connection. We might fear losing life or there could be a threat to our health, safety and wellbeing, all of which are resources for our survival, for our living, for our continuation in this lifetime. So that's usually why we experience anger is when we are feeling threatened in some way and usually around something that we consider to be a resource that is vital for life. And so this morning I'm walking to school and I'm thinking about where do mums experience anger? And I swear three seconds later, one of the children decided to pick up a giant tree branch and carry it along with them and then swing it around quite close to myself and the other two kids. (02:15): And I said to him, put the tree ranch down before you hurt somebody. And so he sulks about it and he drags the tree branch behind him. And I can feel myself getting angry and getting frustrated because one, I'm being ignored. It's the threat to our potential to other children's physical wellbeing if they get smacked in the head with this giant tree ranch. And the threat isn't going away because he's refusing to put it down. And so I can feel this anger raging and I could feel myself, my voice tightening and repeating myself until the point where I just take the stick, put it down, or branch. It wasn't a stick, it was a branch. Take the branch, put it down, and then we continue our walk. The moment passed, we've let it go, we continue. He's playing with something else, everyone's happy, no big problem. (03:07): And I was able to come back to finding my place of center because I understood that with the threat past, it's safe for me now to relax. But a lot of us aren't able and don't have that awareness of when the threat is an active threat, when the threat is a passive threat, and when the threat no longer exists. So a lot of us stay stuck in that part of our dysregulated nervous system. In that anger state long after is actually necessary for our survival for us to deal with the threat that's at hand. On top of that, a lot of times we actually experience anger, not because there is an actual threat to our resources, but because there is a perceived threat. And this is where we're spending time thinking into the future about what could might happen. Now, this isn't an immediate threat, but your body doesn't know the difference. (04:06): And because of all of the potentials that there are out there in the future and in the unknown, it can be very easy to feel angry about something that we think could occur or might occur or will occur. And allow that situation not just to bring up fear and anxiety, but also to bring up frustration and anger and rage, and allow that to build inside of us. And if we're forecasting into the future that's going to stay with us for a long time, unless we understand and have an awareness around this piece of the threat is passive is not here, it does not exist for us right now. It is not in the present moment. And in that place, I can come back to looking around me, creating a sense of safety, coming into my own center of inner peace, which I'll be talking about during the rage alchemy circle. (04:55): But we get to come back to that piece of calm, recognizing that there is no immediate threat and reducing those feelings of anger. So this is just one of the ways in which anger plays out for us as moms, as business owners, and also some of the reasons behind why we're unable to always notice and manage and master our emotions. And if we can create more awareness around our anger and its purpose and how it helps and supports us, we start to love and appreciate the anger, but we can also start to recognize where perhaps we're holding onto things that no longer actually serve us. So that's my little contemplation for you today.

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